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20 May 2012 @ 10:19 am
just stupid busy... and livejournal seems quite dead these days. i only come here for fics and thats rare ;^;
i have so little time to read anymore! it makes me fuckin sad!

BUT! i have news!

someone actually joined my comm!!!

YES! ulzzang20in20 no has a whopping TWO MEMBERS!!!

things in my schedule have changed a bit and i really want to try to get this icontest thing in motion so if you could pimp it out n shit that would be AWESOME!

i've tried posting it to my tumblr and stuff but nobody pays any attention to me so maybe you guys could try too?

anyways thats all for now ^^;
26 September 2011 @ 10:42 pm
Don't know what to do for this winter? Or simply want to end this year with something new and exciting to do?

Well, here is your answer, join koreanseasons 2011 winter fest!

Rules and Timeline | Come visit us at koreanseasons!

Do drop by our Poll and vote to tell us what kind of fest you'd like!
23 September 2011 @ 04:13 am
if you havent seen it already this is me telling you all that i have posted my fourth fic.
2500+ words
r - nudity, drinking, smoking, voyeurism, molestation

i think its pretty fucking awesome even if it does kind of feel like one big run-on sentence in my head. i think thats just because ive re-read it so many times without a fresh pair of eyes to tell me if it sucks or not. ok that's the last dig ill take at celine for now...

hey let me know if you think its worthy to be posted on shineesmut ok? theres no actual fucking in it...but idk...

just go read it

ALSO~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEY /throws confetti/

id do something big with gifs and cleverness but i think i waisted all my energy on writing that fic and any residual steam on trying to get the goddamned thing posted.

i fucking hate livejournal rn. the rich text w/e can suck my big veiny cock!

goodnight ^^
Current Mood: exhausted
11 September 2011 @ 03:38 am
I am a nobody.

I will always be a nobody.

Ninty-nine percent of the time, I'm ok with that. I think in my own way I've come to terms with the fact that I will never be famous. In a world as obsessed with fame and celebrity as ours however, it is nearly impossible not to entertain such dreams. I succumb to it sometimes, usually in my pajamas singing and dancing in front of the mirror, but I try to remain realistic.

Think about it. What percentage of the human race, the whole human race since the dawn of man, has actually gone down in history to be remembered by the masses either by word of mouth or the history books?
I'd say less than one percent.

So yes, in the grand scheme of things I am a nobody. It doesn't matter if I draw this portrait or write this story or wear this outfit or drive this car or live in this apartment. It doesn't matter if my hair is short or long or dyed or natural. It doesn't matter if I wear makeup or jewelry. It just doesn't matter.

I think far too much of my life, subconciously, has been about my struggle with being a nobody...

This is excruciatingly painful to explain in text. Not because its desperatly private or embarrasing...just because its abstract and I'm not very good at organising my thoughts and emotions.

No. I don't think I want to be famous. That's not really it.

You know what I want? 

More than anything in this whole world I want to be understood. And not in the moody teenager sense.
I mean really understood...
Maybe a better word is known...

In my day to day life I come into contact with a decent amount of people and they're all so vastly diffrent and I know them all in widly varying capacities. Its strange how you really do wear diffrent hats in life.
I really am diffrent people at diffrent times. I'm still me. All my hats are definitly mine and nobody else's...but they're still hats.

When I'm at home with my mom, I'm the daughter. When I'm in school I'm the student. When I'm with my kid I'm the mother. When I'm at my aunt's I'm the neice and so on. Same goes with my online life too.
But only when I'm alone am I really me. Truely and completely me.

And not to sound conceited but that makes me kind of sad because honestly, I think the real me, the whole me, is pretty amazing. Nobody ever sees that person. Isn't that kind of a waste?

To be fair though, there is one person whom I think gets the most, if not all, of that me and that's Celine.

With everyone else I could tell you exactly which parts of myself I turn off when I'm around them. Everyone I know, we tend to stick to a handful of things and not much else. And that's cool I guess. I don't think it really hurts me or my mental state much.

Maybe it does, who knows...

Celine, I wish I could sit on my sofa with you and talk till dawn. I wish I could cook for you and go to the bars with you. I wish we could listen to music together. I wish my kid could meet you. I wish we could sit around and write together. Sometimes I wish I had met you years ago...but then I remember what I was like years ago and I think better of it. Its almost like I wasn't good enough for you then.

This post has digressed so much. Everytime a truely inspirational, mindblowing thought comes into my head that I really believe is worth typing twenty paragraphs about...this happens. Rereading this there are so many things I want to say that aren't here. Just about these topics too. But I don't know how or when to say them. Some of them are so abstract I don't even know what they are in any real way.

Sorry  but this is what happens when I have a rockstar at midnight while watching almost famous and smoking a whole pack of cigarretes.

also livejournal hates me and posting this has become its own seperate pain in the ass.
Current Mood: contemplative
09 September 2011 @ 12:13 am
If you could become a member of the opposite sex for just one day, what would you do?
I'd wear the tightest skinny jeans and the lowest deep v shirt ans whore around with anything that would let me put my dick in em XDDDD
and in any down time I'd mastrabate until my arm fell off.
When I changed back I wouldn't be surprised if I just cried all day though.

God I wish I were a boy gdi ;^;
19 August 2011 @ 11:22 pm

its at like 95% completion but im working really hard ^^;
i'm about to post the sign ups for the first round!!!!

please pimp this shit everywhere guys <3

banners~Collapse )
Current Mood: sore
17 August 2011 @ 10:07 pm
Ok so I'm an idiot. I just made this huge list for kacts and then realized it says to pick your top FIVE >.<
this is going to take a while lol

the full listCollapse )

in no particular order

breath play
shower sex
begging for cock


I like almost exclusively shinee smut. A cameo by beast, mblaq, minzy, hyunah, heechul, dbsk, I'm cool with it to a degree.
My official otp is probably 2min/minkey/2minkey but tbh i ship almost anything within shinee.
However, I hate ontae in a big way and jongyu does nothing for me. I think im just really picky about fics including jinki in general lol.
I hate on that kid too much ^^;

hope I did all this right lol sorry if i didnt but I think all the necessarily info is here so whatever XP
Current Mood: horny
13 October 2010 @ 12:18 am

Ok so over here ellie commented on my 2min fic with onkey fanarts XD
Relevant fanarts granted but it was still onkey and she said she didn't have 2min fanarts...
So this is kinda for her and kinda for my fic

but mostly its for me! XDDD

EPIC HUGE SPAM - you've been warned!Collapse )I could do more but....meh I'm lazy ^^;
Current Mood: horny
Current Music: Can't Hold Us Down - 2ne1
27 September 2010 @ 12:32 am
its just for my stuff, nothing special

It's SO not ready yet, all I have posted to it are three of my old 20in20 submissions.....
but it looks KILLER!

Once I get everything situated, I'll let you guys know!